Sunday, November 21, 2004

New Template!

I changed my blog! Well, I really copied off of my sister. She used to have this template. I am very very sad that my old comments are gone. : ( I didn't know that would happen. I guess Blogger doesn't know that I'm the boss and I need the info. After much swearing at the computer, I finally got them back via Haloscan. With a little help from my sweet sister once again. Although I must admit that I have no idea what the hizzy Trackback is and how to get it to go away. Please comment to me if you know. Since I went through all this work and cursing to get the comment thingy back I hope to see many more of them.

So, I have been thinking lately about my favorite comedies and I would like to post some of my favorite lines from them. I hope they make you laugh as much as they do me!

"Ow! That really hurts! Who throws a shoe? Honestly?!"
"I don't even own 'a' gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate a rack!"
"I had the group liquidated, they were insolent."
"So you're sayin' there's a chance!"
"If you're gonna spew, spew into this."
"He is the snake to my mongoose, or the mongoose to my snake....I don't know animals."
"Hey guys! Big gulps, huh? Alriiiiight! Welp, see ya later!"
"Exsqueeze me?"

Okay okay, now I have to go watch something funny. More next time! ; )

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

SRBs and Horses' Asses

The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.

Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they were built in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by English immigrants.

Why did the English build them that way?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did they use that gauge?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs & tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in Britain, because that is the spacing of the wheel ruts.

Who built those old rutted roads?
The first long distance roads in Europe (including Britain) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?
The ruts in the roads, which everyone had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels, were first formed by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, the wheel spacings were all alike.

The U.S. standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot. So the next time you're handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back end of two war horses.

When we see a space shuttle sitting on a launch pad there are two booster rockets attached to the side of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but they had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, & the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, the major design feature of what is arguably the worlds most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Not Much

I haven't posted in so long! Nothing is happening though, really. Well, I suppose it has only been a little over two weeks. My main problem at the moment is that I slept on my neck at a wierd angle or something and it has been annoying the ever loving crap out of me for the past 4 days. It doesn't seem like that long but trust me, it feels like an eternity. I just want it to stop! I took medicine though so hopefully it will feel better shortly. Well, let's see, I went home and visited friends and family over Halloween. That was tons of fun. Nothing too eventful though. I am getting ready to become independent at work! FINALLY! It has only taken oh about 7 months! Too long! I swear, my job is not that difficult. So needless to say, I am really happy. Okay, I know this post is really short and pointless, but I am sleep deprived. I better go to the gym now so I can get my second wind. I promise the next one will be funny!