Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Why the f#$k do people listen to celebrities?

I was on my way to work today and I heard an interview with Dan Aykroyd. He was talking about his DVD, Dan Aykroyd Unplugged on UFOs. Why, why, why do people give celebrities so much credit, or listen to a damn thing they have to say? Not sure on that one. Most of them didn't even get their high school diploma or even a GED. Dan said that he woke up one night in the 80s and he experienced being "called" outside to "look up into the sky." Maybe he just needs to lay off the crack that most celebrities seem to enjoy wasting their millions of dollars on. Hmm... just a thought. I'm not saying that ETs do or don't exist, but what I am saying is that I really don't need Dan Aykroyd to be telling me either way. It gives a whole new meaning to the movie Coneheads.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

CSI is like Scooby Doo for Grown-Ups

There's no mask at the end, but when you think about it they are remarkably similar. I was watching it yesterday and I realized that I loved Scooby Doo and now I love CSI. It's a clever ploy, really. I watched Legends of the Fall yesterday for the first time. It was pretty good. Okay, I will admit that Brad Pitt looks hot in it but I am still not jumping on the bandwagon.

Other things that are making me happy right now? My oil burner from the Body Shop with lavender oil. My 'Need a Margarita' body scrub from Bath and Body Works (it seriously smells like a margarita, which makes me smile at all times other than when I am hungover and want to puke). My ceiling fan in my bedroom. It's a beautiful day. I'm going on vacation. My car is clean. My hot new shoes. And I love my new furnitre.

The end.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Somewhere in Africa, there is a starving child waiting to be adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

It's the weeeeeeeeeeeeekend! Yay! Last week was awful, I was on days and soooooo tired all day every day I wanted to die. I even ended up taking 3 days off from working out, which I never EVER do. I hated it. But I was so exhausted I could barely stand up. It sucked. I didn't even end up going out last night because I fell asleep at 8 o'clock and didn't wake up until like 10:30. Needless to say, I wouldn't have made it out anywhere until like 11:30 or 12, which is pointless. So, this weekend is Memorial Day weekend. I am working on Memorial Day though because I am leaving on Wednesday to come to Michigan! :) I am so excited I absolutely cannot wait. And last night Joe and I bought tickets to come to Michigan again on the weekend of June 24 to go to Michelle's wedding. I am going to have a hectic month in June. That will be 3 out of 4 weekends I am going to be gone. Two to go to Michigan, and one to go to Connecticut to see my friends Joe and Rachel get married! I am really excited because I have never been to New England. Sorry this post is so boring...but I can't think of anything else to write. :0)

Friday, May 19, 2006

Pass My Sweatpants

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if, by some miracle, they actually found the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged across two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE RUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THIS HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS....

I'm sorry... what did you ask me?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Hello Gorgeous

I'm at work. I'm bored. I have nothing to talk about. Humph. Shift work stunts my creativity. Well, I've been meaning to post for quite a while now that I in fact DO have the same phone number still...a bunch of people have told me that it says the number is disconnected when they try to call it. I have no idea what is wrong with it but it started happening when I got my new phone. Which also means, since my last phone is totally broken, I don't have any of my phone numbers. So if I haven't called you, it isn't because I don't love you anymore. I just don't know your number. :(

I have a busy weekend coming up. I have a ton of stuff to do around my house, it is a total disaster. Boo. I am looking forward to getting the crap out of the way though. Tomorrow I'm going out with Jessie and then Saturday night is her birthday celebration! :) Yay! A big group of us is going out in Georgetown.

Want some jokes? Okaaayyyyyy!

Ha, The Joke's On You

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

Give Him What He Wants

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!" "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me that he thinks you're really cute!"

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


I have nothing exciting to post about at all. I haven't had time to upload my pics yet and I am waiting for Jessie to send me hers. :o)

Have you ever randomly scrolled through the blogs? Click the 'next blog' icon in the upper right corner of the page if you are bored one day. Some people have some really interesting stuff to say. And also some people are fucking insane. Such is life.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Shake It Like a Bowl of Grits

Yesterday was my and Joe's 1-year anniversary!! :) We recreated our first date at the restaurant where we first went out. It is one of my favorite restaurants out here; it has really great food. I have pics to post, they'll come later. Have I already said I am the luckiest woman alive?

Besides that, I was sick this weekend and probably shouldn't have gone out, but did anyway. I went out dancing on Friday with some friends and Joe (I have pics from that as well), and Saturday Joe and I had a double date with a guy he works with and his gf. Overall a really fun weekend even though I felt crappy and it rained all weekend. I can't decide if I am really sick or if it is just allergies but either way it sucks.

Now I am back on swing shift...thank the Lord. I almost died last week on day shift. As always. I am sure all of my loyal readers noticed, I didn't post at all because I was so dead tired and a basket-case that I probably wouldn't have been able to string together two words to make a coherent statement even if I tried. Ugh.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow

You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer

A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.

Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done

You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam?

Peter Gibbons: You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

I have to go lay down.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

According to the X-Files, a lot of crazy ass shit happens in northern Virginia

Seriously, most of the episodes take place in northern Virginia cities. I usually have at least heard of the cities that they visit. Let's just say I am glad that the show is fiction. :o)

Speaking of crazy ass shit, read this article. Move over Ashton, you've met your match. That's going to be me one day! Marrying someone that is 71 years younger than me!! Ha-ha!!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Those Poor Littow Carbs

I love it when people tell me that the reason they are overweight is because they eat too many carbs. Then I ask them if they exercise, and they say no. It kills me. Guess what? I eat carbs all the time and I am not overweight. In fact, I have to make a conscious effort to add protein to my diet because I never feel like buying/cooking meat.

Monday, May 01, 2006

No Matter What Anna Nicole Does, She Still Looks Like Serious WT

Has anyone else noticed that? I just walked by the TV and saw a story on CNN about her trial or whatever and I just thought...ew. She looks gross. But hey at least she's trying I guess.

Tonight is my first night of swing shift. I like it. I got to sleep in, work out before work, and get some stuff done before I left. I actually woke up really freaking early and couldn't go back to sleep but I wouldn't let myself get out of bed until 10. It was nice. I actually think I am going to like being on shift for a little while because I like the change. I just get sick of working 9-5 every day. It gets too mundane. I guess I better get over that at some point. The thing I do hate about shift--working weekends--I don't have to do this time, while I am a trainee at least! Tomorrow I have to come in a little early though because I have to leave for 3 hours for class. Tomorrow I do my final presentation in class and then I am DONE! Done with the most ridiculous class ever!! Yay for me! The last class period is actually on May 9th, but since my presentation section will be done tomorrow all I have to do on the 9th is show up and be my regular charming self.

I get my new furniture on Thursday! Unfortunately, as I said before, I didn't budget my money appropriately and have screwed myself on my rent and tuition payments. Hmm. Not sure what I am going to do about that one but we'll see. Don't underestimate me, I am crafty.