Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Other things that are making me happy right now? My oil burner from the Body Shop with lavender oil. My 'Need a Margarita' body scrub from Bath and Body Works (it seriously smells like a margarita, which makes me smile at all times other than when I am hungover and want to puke). My ceiling fan in my bedroom. It's a beautiful day. I'm going on vacation. My car is clean. My hot new shoes. And I love my new furnitre.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Somewhere in Africa, there is a starving child waiting to be adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Monday, May 22, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if, by some miracle, they actually found the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged across two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE RUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THIS HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS....
I'm sorry... what did you ask me?
Thursday, May 18, 2006
I have a busy weekend coming up. I have a ton of stuff to do around my house, it is a total disaster. Boo. I am looking forward to getting the crap out of the way though. Tomorrow I'm going out with Jessie and then Saturday night is her birthday celebration! :) Yay! A big group of us is going out in Georgetown.
Want some jokes? Okaaayyyyyy!
Ha, The Joke's On You
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
Give Him What He Wants
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!" "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me that he thinks you're really cute!"
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Have you ever randomly scrolled through the blogs? Click the 'next blog' icon in the upper right corner of the page if you are bored one day. Some people have some really interesting stuff to say. And also some people are fucking insane. Such is life.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Besides that, I was sick this weekend and probably shouldn't have gone out, but did anyway. I went out dancing on Friday with some friends and Joe (I have pics from that as well), and Saturday Joe and I had a double date with a guy he works with and his gf. Overall a really fun weekend even though I felt crappy and it rained all weekend. I can't decide if I am really sick or if it is just allergies but either way it sucks.
Now I am back on swing shift...thank the Lord. I almost died last week on day shift. As always. I am sure all of my loyal readers noticed, I didn't post at all because I was so dead tired and a basket-case that I probably wouldn't have been able to string together two words to make a coherent statement even if I tried. Ugh.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
I have to go lay down.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Speaking of crazy ass shit, read this article. Move over Ashton, you've met your match. That's going to be me one day! Marrying someone that is 71 years younger than me!! Ha-ha!!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
Tonight is my first night of swing shift. I like it. I got to sleep in, work out before work, and get some stuff done before I left. I actually woke up really freaking early and couldn't go back to sleep but I wouldn't let myself get out of bed until 10. It was nice. I actually think I am going to like being on shift for a little while because I like the change. I just get sick of working 9-5 every day. It gets too mundane. I guess I better get over that at some point. The thing I do hate about shift--working weekends--I don't have to do this time, while I am a trainee at least! Tomorrow I have to come in a little early though because I have to leave for 3 hours for class. Tomorrow I do my final presentation in class and then I am DONE! Done with the most ridiculous class ever!! Yay for me! The last class period is actually on May 9th, but since my presentation section will be done tomorrow all I have to do on the 9th is show up and be my regular charming self.
I get my new furniture on Thursday! Unfortunately, as I said before, I didn't budget my money appropriately and have screwed myself on my rent and tuition payments. Hmm. Not sure what I am going to do about that one but we'll see. Don't underestimate me, I am crafty.
MAY 31st IS NOT GOING TO COME A DAY TOO SOON!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE AND GO TO MICHIGAN FOR A WHOLE WEEK AND DO NOTHING BUT DANCE ON TABLES AND GET SLOSHED WITH CHRISSY!!! :o)