Monday, July 31, 2006

Cranky

I can't think of a title because I am cranky. I went to see O.A.R. on Saturday and it was a great concert. I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean on Friday and it was really good. I really dont want to be at work right now.

I hung up my new curtains in my bedroom yesterday and it was a giant pain in my ass. I did it though. Finally. Its harder than you would think.

That's all.

:o\

Friday, July 28, 2006

Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said,"NO!"

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, and never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid. She watched chick flicks, never football, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, swore and farted all the time.

THE END

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Relax, We Can All Breathe a Sigh of Relief!

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we all have been waiting for is finally here! Howard Stern has finally been given his own TV channel! My lovely, considerate cable company was nice enough to send me an advertisement for the channel yesterday in the mail. I was so excited when I opened the mailbox and read the great news, I skipped all the way to my front door. Now, for just $13.99 a month (!!!!!!!!!), I too can be schooled by Howard Stern on the delicate details of being a sleazy, trashy, misogynistic, petty, spiteful, malicious, sexist, idiotic and imbicilic tiny-dicked sorry excuse for a man. For that small monthly sum, I would be able to witness the village idiot spouting off ridiculous opinions and advice designed specifically to mislead all men and thus leave them in a miserable, lonely, celibate and sexless life forever more. What a great marketing idea!

On a lighter note, today is my last day of work! I forgot to tell you all but I got suck at work late last Friday and I carried the hours over to this week. Yay for three day weekends! I plan to SLEEP, go to the pool, and spend some quality time with my honey. I can't wait! :o) I got my hair highlighted yesterday and it looks so good! I love my beautician!



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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

New Year's Resolutions: Revisited

Since the year is more than half over, I decided to take a look at my resolutions that I posted back in January and see how I've been doing. They are:

1. Start flossing every day again (I fell off the bandwagon)
2. Save more money
3. Make a budget & keep better track of finances
4. Be punctual
5. Don't stress too much

Well...this isn't looking so good.

1. I haven't been flossing every single day. Maybe more like every other day. I guess I better make more of an effort from now on.

2. I was saving money for a while there, but then when I had to pay tuition I got in trouble. It freaked me out. Ever since then, I've left my direct deposit how it is. I guess I should go back on my timecard and reset the amount going into my savings gradually back to what I was saving before. Humph. That's an easy fix though, I can do that right now (or at least start bumping it up this week).

3. My budget doesn't exist. But I have been doing really well at keeping track of my finances. Yay.

4. I'm not punctual. I don't know if I ever will be. I think it is inherited. This drives Joe up the wall. He always tells me that I am not so good at estimating how much time it is going to take me to do things. I would rather say that I am just optimistic. :) I guess I should start working on this again in order to avoid future spats with my honey. Perfection takes time, though.

5. I have been a lot less stressed lately. I guess that might change a little once I start my new job. I am definitely more relaxed and a lot happier. :) Yay.

Alright, well it apparently was a good idea for me to dig these out and re-read them. It's never too late. :) I flossed yesterday and today! :)

I heard something interesting on the radio this morning about Japan. If you are caught speeding, they equip your car with a device that doesn't allow your vehicle to travel any faster than the speed limit. I kind of want one. That would keep me from speeding and getting another fat ticket. :) Oh man, that just made me think of something. Somebody put a sticker on a stop sign near my apartment that says "eating." So the sign reads "Stop Eating." It's really funny, I laugh pretty much every time I drive by it. Ha ha.



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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Thank you sir, may I have another!?!

Since the last quiz was so much fun...I thought I would give you another! Have fun!!

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from The Princess Bride


"This is true love - you think this happens every day?"


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
MY BEST FRIEND LINDSAY!!!
(: NOW YOU ARE OLD LIKE ME!! :)

Monday, July 24, 2006

Hooray for Silly Quizzes!

Oh man. Did I have a helluva weekend. Friday night I went out with a big group of girls to a piano bar in Georgetown. It was so much fun! We had a blast. Saturday I was so tired I slept until 6 p.m. I'm not kidding. I woke up and realized that I was the laziest person ever. I did go to the gym, though. So that was good. Then I went with Jessie out to dinner at a really wonderful restaurant, Mike's American Grill. It was sooooo good. Yesterday I just did stuff around the house and then I went to the pool for like 4 hours and it was so great. It was partly cloudy, and the perfect day. It was a great way to spend a Sunday. Unfortunately, when I got back to my apartment I had to iron a bazillion things because I always let it pile up for about 3 weeks before I get around to it. I despise ironing. And I have the heaviest ironing board known to man. I thought my mother was being nice by giving it to me but now I realize that she just wanted an excuse to get a new one. You have to be a body builder to pick this damn thing up, I swear.

Anyway, on to the silly quiz! Take the quiz below and find out what kind of sexy you are! :) I have moxie!! :) Yay for me!

You Are Confident Sexy
You're one sexy chica, and you know it. You've got the confidence to strut your stuff...And approach any man who happens to catch your eye. You may make a guys run away, but the true men will appreciate your moxie.

mox·ie: noun, (Slang)
1. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage.
2. Skill; know-how.

Hellz yeah.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Snakes On a Plane

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Nelville Flynn: I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!

Are they serious?!!? This is an actual movie! Click this link. The movie people are really running out of ideas lately, I guess. Apparently their target audience consists of people afraid of flying and people afraid of snakes. Oh and I think terrorists are involved, too. Scary. This is going to be my friend Jessie's favorite movie. So, I wonder what happens in this movie? Do they get up in the air, realize there's a bunch of snakes, and then scream and run around the plane the rest of the time? Interesting story line...

Today is finally Friday! I only have to work 4 hours and then I get to go home and relax by the pool for the rest of the afternoon! :) Well, that is after I run an errand and work out. That shouldn't take long. My workouts have been different lately, because I have shin splints. I can't run for about 2 weeks. I thought they were better but when I ran last week I wanted to die the next day. Oh well. It's good to change things up so I don't get bored.

To send you off to your lovely weekend, I have included a joke below. Enjoy and have a great weekend! :) This one is especially for you, Sara!



There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night.

A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner.

After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room. "Sure," the woman says. "Let me go wash my hands first."

After she washes her hands, they have sex. After they are finished, she washes her hands again.

This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, "You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands."

Angry at this remark, the woman says, "Well, you must be an anesthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!"

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Lonely Missy

Well, I got to see my boyfriend for a few hours last night. That was nice. He was away all week for work, and today he is going to Myrtle Beach for a bachelor party (for the weekend). Then, when he gets back, he has to go out of town for work again. This sucks. :o( At least I have my other boyfriend, Zach, to keep me company while he is gone. So what if he is a foot tall, walks on all fours, and licks his own butt. At least he is cuddly. Ha ha.

Today on my way to work they were talking about giving CPR, and who would you rather give it to?

1. Larry King or Michael Jackson?
2. Richard Simmons or Michael Jackson?

Larry King is about a million years old, and Richard Simmons is a quack, but I would still rather give CPR to either of them than Michael Jackson. I'm sorry, I know, I know, he had a rough childhood. But as I said before, there is no excuse for being a freaking weird, creepy, sleazy, pedophile. I know it hasn't been proven that he actually is one...but c'mon!

I just finished reading a book, Midwives. It was so good! Sara, I think you should read this book because I really want to know what you think about it. I'll mail it to you if you want. That is if you ever think you'll have time to read again. The thing that freaked me out was that the characters of course kept talking about childbirth, since that is what midwives do. But they just kept talking about how horrible and painful it is (which, of course, I already knew, but it is different to read it over and over in detail). Then they described, in detail, everything that was going on (all the graphic stuff). Then they talked about how the women all screamed in agony and said the baby was killing them. Then they told about how one woman bit the dust while trying to give birth. As many of you know I get pretty squeamish about all the gore and I found myself wanting to down my entire pack of birth control pills frantically. It made me pretty freaked out about having kids, but I still am excited one day to be a mommy. I guess on the bright side they did talk a lot about how wonderful it is, and how amazing it is to feel the baby kick for the first time and all that. I'm still scared, though.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I Can Handle a Stick

I nailed my presentation! I think! Nobody booed or threw tomatoes at least! :) And no, I did NOT fall down in front of the class and moon everyone, as I have been known to do in the past. Thanks, Lindsay. You could have reminded me of that AFTER I gave the presentation. Ha ha. Well, my presentation was on UML2 Use Case Diagrams, also known as the most boring thing ever unless you are a software engineer, which I am not. At least I had pretty slides though. They had flowers. I know, not very professional. But it's just school and I know I wouldn't be able to use that design ever at work, so I decided to say screw it.

I drove Joe's Saturn yesterday for the first time. I may not have already said it, but he bought an older car for really cheap so he can avoid putting millions of miles on his Corvette. And also he doesn't have to worry about it getting towed at my apartments just in case they decide to be jackasses. Whatever. They suck. They should have free freaking valet in that place for the amount of money they charge me. As I have complained about many many times before. Ha ha. Well, Joe and his father seem to think that I am inept at driving a manual transmission. Joe is out of town right now and I just didn't want to worry about it getting towed. So I called his dad and told him I was going to drop it off and I needed a ride back. He asked me if I knew how to drive it. Now, I have told both Joe and his father repeatedly that I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE A STICK (courtesy of my sistear). It's just difficult for me to drive the Corvette because the clutch is really stiff, and, being that I am apparently a weakling (despite hours and hours working out grr), I have trouble pushing the damn thing in. It just turns out to be a pain in the butt. But I can drive the Saturn fine! Hah!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I Swam to My Car This Morning

It's going to be 105 degrees today with 79% humidity. Yuck. It is so hot, humid, and muggy I want to barf. I wait all winter for summer time, so I can run outside instead on the God awful boring treadmill, and then I get this. I can barely breathe when I am walking to my car, let alone running for any length of time. Sigh. Well I guess it makes it less painful to spend all day at work and then all night at class. It's Tuesday again....grr. I better get over this because this only the second class and I have a gazillion more to go!

I get to do a presentation in class tonight and I think I might go off the deep end. Maybe if I keep my sister's last post in mind it will help me calm down. It's not like I have to stick anyone with a needle or anything. :o) I just have to stand in front of a class of 40 people and try not to sound like an idiot. I hope nobody asks me any questions. I hate that. I am deathly afraid of speaking in front of people. And it is uncomfortable because I am normally soft spoken and I feel like I have to stand up there and yell at the top of my lungs to get the crowd to hear me. Wish me luck!

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Depth of Their Shallowness is Astounding

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I was at the pool yesterday minding my own business, when all of a sudden some kind of foreign Mafia showed up and started playing water polo. I was so annoyed. I was relaxing and reading a book. There was like 20 million of them and they all started yelling in whatever language it was loud enough to wake the dead. Then another group of people that didn't speak English showed up and started yelling too. Needless to say, I left. I was planning on leaving around then anyway but I was still annoyed. Oh geeze that makes me sound bad. But you know, they probably think that about us obnoxious English-speaking Americans when we go over to their countries too.

I went to see The Devil Wears Prada with Jessie on Friday. It was a really cute movie. I liked it a lot. The characters kind of pissed me off though. They were so pretentious and acted like fashion was the most important thing in the world. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a hot pair of stilettos just as much as the next girl. But there are definitely more important things in life than fashion. Those people might want to get their heads out of the clouds if they think that they are that important. I guess I could say that Meryl Streep did a really great job because her condescending attitude made me want to tell her off within the first 5 minutes of the movie. Ha-ha. And I couldn't stand it that everyone just sat there and took it. Ugh. What's sad is that there are actually people like that that really exist. Jessie informed me that the basic story line of the movie correlated to the book, but a million minor details were changed. And my favorite part was at the end when the endlessly shallow, snobby, idiotic other-girl miraculously grew a benevolent bone in her body and decided that she liked the normal girl (main character). Hmmm. Well I guess that's possible.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Amish Paradise

I heard this song today on the way to work and it made me laugh really hard. Listen to it, you deserve a good laugh since it's Friday and you worked hard all week! :)

Have a good weekend!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Thirsty Thursday

I was thinking on the way to work today that I used to go to happy hour a lot more than I do now. I miss it. It's probably better that way, since I don't want to destroy my liver. But at the same time, it's a bummer. I guess it is because when I was on shift work I would get out at 2 p.m., have time to go home, work out, and shower and everything before happy hour started. Oh well. I save more money without happy hour. I will go at some point this summer! There is a really fun place down in Arlington that has a rooftop outdoor tiki bar and it is a lot of fun.

Not too much to post about today. Just the same old stuff. It's raining...again! I swear it better be sunny this weekend or I am going to cry. I really want to go to the pool and relax.

I absolutely cannot wait to get my new refrigerator tomorrow. I feel so messed up because it has been like a month and a half since I have eaten like I normally do. I am so sick of eating out, eating at fast food restaurants, and eating the nasty cafeteria food every day at work. It is totally grossing me out. And you can only eat so many salads from Wendy's before you start feeling like a rabbit. I just want to cook something for myself! Cripes!

Yesterday I gave my kitty a bath. Let me tell you, he was really pissed off. But now he smells so fresh and clean like my Herbal Essences shampoo. Ha ha. He looked like Mr. Bigglesworth when he was soaking wet. It was really cute and funny, but I did my best not to laugh so he wouldn't feel bad. I was going to take a picture and post it but I thought it would be too cruel. Poor baby.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I Pick the Best Places to Live

I heard on the radio this morning that they are increasing the number of police in Washington, D.C. due to a declared "crime state of emergency." I guess there have been 13 homicides in the last month (that's right, thirty days). That kind of news just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And makes me fear for the safety of my friends that live there. And fear for myself because at one time I was stupid enough to ride the metro alone at 2 a.m. The funny thing is, I have lived near Detroit and Los Angeles, two other super safe places to live. I know how to pick them.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Mondays Suck

Is there any worse way to end a fun weekend than with a sucky, awful Monday? I had such a crazy day at work today. I won't go into it, but I got some suprises and I was tearing my hair out all day. It was not pretty. But I guess it kept things interesting and it made the day go by really fast. I got to work pretty late too. Unfortunately. It sucks to get up early but it also sucks to have to be at work all freaking day when it is gorgeous outside and I could be at the pool! I guess I have to focus on the fact that I will only be in this job for another couple of weeks. If HR would hurry their asses up. I swear those people work slower than molasses. I've been waiting forever to hear back from them. Patience is not one of my virtues.

I am finally getting a new refigerator on Friday! Mine has been on the fritz ever since I moved into this apartment. And considering my rent is practically highway robbery, that refrigerator should not only keep my food cold but also create mouth watering meals for me every day. I'm not holding my breath.

Sorry if you guys missed it, but the 27th Annual Mooning of Amtrak took place in Orange County, California last weekend. Check out this site to read about it. Masses of people gather on the second Saturday of July and moon the Amtrak trains that are going by. It's funny.

p.s. I checked my grades last night and I got 85/80 on my midterm. I am the shiznit.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Since You've Been Gone

I went to the Kelly Clarkson concert last night and it was so much fun! She has such an amazing voice...I couldn't imagine having a gift like that. I went with 5 other girls and it was so much fun to have a girls night out. Kelly just seemed really down to Earth and a lot of fun on stage. I've never seen so many little girls gathered in one place in my entire life. It was crazy. They were cute though. There was a woman sitting in front of us that smoked practically an entire pack of cigarettes. It was disgusting. I couldn't believe she could sit there and smoke with all of those little kids around. What an idiot. I don't care if it is outside. Overall it was really a great concert and I couldn't get over the fact that someone that talented became famous from a show like American Idol. I have always despised reality TV, but I guess if something good like that can come out of it, I might have to just tolerate it.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

My Boyfriend Is Hot

Ohmigod my boyfriend looks so gorgeous in this picture I had to post it! Even though I am making a funny face! :) Posted by Picasa

Movies and Things

I went to see the new Superman movie last weekend and it was so good! I absolutely loved it and I can't wait to buy it when it comes out. The actor that played Superman, Brandon Routh, did such a good job. He looks so much like Christopher Reeve. He even sounds like him. The actress that played Lois Lane, Kate Bosworth, also did an excellent job. And so did Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor! Overall it was just a great movie and I highly recommend it.

I also saw something on TV that were so disturbing I almost puked. The first thing was this show called To Catch a Predator. It was so disgusting I literally wanted to throw up. No kidding, I felt the puke rising in my throat. How about that for a graphic description? This show was a documentary about old, creepy, disgusting, horrible, vile, evil, foul, revolting men who go to a house to have sex with a child that is only 14 years old (or younger in some cases). They meet the little girls online. Only they don't know that the little girls are actually adults that work for a company that is set up to catch pedophiliac predators. The men would send pictures of their penises, as well as videos of themselves playing with them, to the "little girls." There was one man who brought his 5-year-old son along for the ride. The jerk thought he was going to have sex with a little boy. Once they got the creeps inside, the guy from MSNBC came out and basically said, "What the fuck do you think you are doing, you fucking disgusting piece of shit?" (in so many words). They then proceeded to make up a million excuses to try to get their immoral, sleazy asses out of it. Some of them were obviously white trash and creepy, and I wouldn't trust them with my dog let alone anyone else. And I don't even have a dog. But the most disturbing ones were the men that looked like normal dads. They even had kids of their own. Could you imagine? One guy thought he was going to have sex with a little girl the same age as his daughter! I seriously think this was one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. I could not help but think about the fact that me and all of my girlfriends were all once those 14-year-old little girls and there were probably disgusting perverts like those guys that were thinking nasty thoughts about us. Gross. Did you ever hear that in prison, the men who are there for being pedophiles are targeted more than others? I only hope that these men are all raped relentlessly the entire time they are there just for being so evil. I know that is gross but I am serious.